Here are some photos from the drive across the country I took with my brother. The drive isn’t actually over yet. We’re in a hotel north of Phoenix. It’s been an uneventful trip so far, which is exactly how you want these trips to go. Driving a 17 foot moving truck with a vehicle trailer was daunting at first but we’re both getting the hang of it and are considering changing our careers to truck guys.
This pretty much sums up how what we are and how we felt for much of the trip.
It was nice to see so many wind turbines. These ones run off domestic wind.
That’s this huge eight-story cross in Missouri. Thank god Jesus wasn’t that large or He would have been a lot harder to take down.
That’s me driving the truck past the giant cross. I’m a believer now.
It seems that they’re really holding on to some old traditions in Missouri.
Here are some candles we saw at a grocery store in Tucumcari, New Mexico. These are for St. Lazaro, who from available evidence is the Saint of Dying Old Men Who Can’t Get Away From The Street Dogs That Will Eat Him When He Dies.
This is a zoomed out shot of all the available candles at this grocery store. That’s my buddy Laz on the second shelf up. I couldn’t make up my mind so I bought a six pack of beer instead.
That’s some dude walking across New Mexico. He wasn’t even hitchhiking so it’s safe to say he’s really given up on the concept of hope. Either that or he just really likes walking. To each his own.
Such a g’boy!
That’s my brother standing in front of a bunch of rocks and shit. I think he’s a little bit taller than me but that might just be the hair. He’s the reason we’re headed for San Diego cause he got a job there doing smart people stuff. We saw a lot of trains.
That’s me standing next to a sign. I couldn’t afford the fee so I didn’t defecate any rocks.
The Sun was setting on the mountains south of Flagstaff, Arizona. My brother took this picture while I was swearing at the giant stupid fucking truck I was driving because I wasn’t sure how to handle steep downhill mountain grades and it does this weird engine breaking thing which revs up the RPMs and slows it down somehow and then we had to go up a mountain which was worse and made me swear more because we couldn’t go more than 40 miles an hour but then I put the blinkers on and told myself, “Hank, it’s okay. They’ll go around you. Relax. You’ll get there when you get there. Breathe and be at peace, okay big guy?” Eventually we got there. Still waiting for fucking peace.
Here are some cactuseses silhouetted against the sky. Almost as realistic as in the cartoons.
That’s an up close shot of a cactus by the hotel. We confirmed the rumors that cactuseses have spikes and that Midwestern people are impressed by cactuseses.
That’s me biting the tag off a new pair of shorts.
I graduated from there. (I went to Low Cool High.)
Here’s the view from my bed. This hotel has free HBO and free Internet. The future is now and later.
So far it’s been a great trip. We’ve listened to a lot of great music and some podcasts and we’ve talked about things that brothers talk about such as food and women and other edibles. Tomorrow we’ll make it to the ocean where my brother and his family will be starting a new chapter of their lives. Well, not ON the ocean but near enough to make an afternoon of it. At the end of the week I’ll fly back to Chicago to resume my life. I will live-tweet the flight home. It will go like this: “Eye contact with the stewardess. Gave me a full soda. She wants me. #MileEyeClub”.
I’m tired. My face feels red. There’s something wrong with my elbow. I’m going to sleep good tonight. These shorts sure are comfortable. Good sleepin’ shorts.
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