Watch this:
Embedding is disabled. Click the image to watch and then come back here.
Incredible, no?
My immediate reaction was to wonder if this is legit or not. If it isn’t then it’s a masterful comedic production by minds many times funnier and more capable than mine. I might as well hang up my comedy hat knowing that kind of talent is out there. It’s too perfect to be fake, even down to the elements that seem to be placed overtly to make it seem fake, like the whoosh cuts, or her advocacy for homeless cats, the orgone generators, the hard-to-read scrolling text or the Academy Award statuette that glides partly across the screen for no reason whatsoever.
Had this video existed alone there would be room and reason to question its authenticity. But fortunately it links to a website that is every bit as magnificent as the video. Glancing through even a few of the pages one must conclude that there is nothing fake about any of it.
It is genuine. It is hilarious. It is insane in the most wonderful of ways. And best of all, it is completely sincere. Dorota Lopatynska de Slepowron, it seems, is as real as a rainbow.
Seriously, you gotta check it out.
Casual visitors might conclude the site is amateurish and outdated. In fact, it is anything but. It’s a throwback. It’s a time capsule of the era of web design, the mid 90s through the early Oh’s, when a still wobbly Internet was just beginning to get its sea pixels. Sites of the time featured bright, oddly-contrasting colors and long linear scroll-forever pages stacked with blinking or scrolling text and animated gifs. Visitors who made it to the bottom often got to see how many visitors had been counted on what was known as a “visitor counter.” MIDI files played to create an enervating ambiance that could often not be turned off. There were no efficiently organized sidebars. No social networking icons begging for “shares” and “likes.” No RSS feeds. No annoying timed ads or hover preview plugins. SEO wasn’t even yet a gleam in some geek’s eye. It was pure, raw information. Sites like this are the cave paintings of the Internet. People didn’t know why, and hardly knew how, but they just had to put some shit on the wall and see if anyone noticed.
Dorota’s website is a great example of that form of expression, and it serves the even higher purpose of accurately portraying its subject.
There’s too much content to peruse in a single sitting. Aside from the paintings and photos there are newspaper articles about Dorota. You can see clips of her on local TV or on the set of various Bollywood sets, You can order products and even book her daughter for a modeling gig. No longer a squire, her daughter is every bit the glamorous model as her mother. Turns out the Polish beauty queen does not fall far from the tree. (especially if she only has one arm and you wave to her.*)
At heart Dorota Lopatynska de Slepowron is a dedicated family woman. She and her Indian born husband met in the 80s while he attended the Shipbuilding Institute of Technical University of Gdansk, one of the finest shipbuilding schools in the Gdansk metropolitan area. As an interracial couple she and her husband endured attacks from many in the the community. It worsened when their daughter was born and faced harassment at school from students and teachers alike. Now in England, the family is free from those sad old world attitudes. Dorota and kind have continued to blossom.
Model, actress, painter, filmmaker, writer, fashion designer, entrepreneur — just a few of the professions at which this wonderful, complex woman has excelled. As the title of her YouTube video makes clear she’s a “Multi Talented Star” and there’s simply no denying it.
Orgone Generators – What what?
Her concern for the suffering of others isn’t just limited to cats. She and her husband design and manufacture orgone generators, as noted in the video. They’re available at her online boutique, along with an assortment of copper pyramids and medieval dresses and cloaks.
You’d be forgiven for thinking an orgone generator was just a wick away from being a candle or perhaps a jello fruit salad gone terribly wrong. Nay, an orgone generator is an invaluable device that enhances life. The site recommends placing one in every room of your house, at your work, in your car, garden, and around your neck. It’s not just good pseudoscience; it’s good business.
Here are some examples:
orgone generators come in a variety of shapes, sizes and names
Orgone generators are made from a cured fiberglass resin impregnated with metal chips. Of course, in classic Dorota style, hers contain crystals, gemstones and herbs, setting them apart from those crappy run-of-the-mill orgone generators that clog shelves and gardens around the world.
“It WILL Radiate This Positive Energy Into the Atmosphere of Your Home or Into Any Photo That You Put Underneath It.” the site promises. It’s unclear if this works with digital picture frames but it’s safe to assume that it does.
But how does it work, exactly? Rather than explain it myself, here’s a quote from the website that tells you all you need to know:
The basic function of the Orgone Generator is to convert dark, sick, negative DOR [Deadly Orgone Radiation] into light, healthy, positive orgone. The configuration of the crystals inside the metal/organic matrix allows this to happen. This energy-regenerating quality can be used to refresh and heal the energy of a person, room, office or entire house.
See, in our modern world, we are surrounded by electronic devices that produce negative energy and vibrations. We’re practically up to our Chakras in the stuff! Thankfully, orgone generators exist to absorb that dastardly radiation and convert it into positive energy. The full extent of their benefits is too listy to list but here are a few:
- Creates pleasant, balanced, happier moods.
- Use it to charge food and drink.
- Attract a mate or lover
- Increases accuracy in Dowsing Crying
- Communicate with Deities
- Communicate with deceased loved ones.
- Purifies the atmosphere, detoxifies water, ends drought.
That means you’ll feel better, have clean drinking water and you’ll always get and give booty, all while talking to god or your dead uncle.
Seems like a pretty sensible thing to have, doesn’t it? You’d be crazy NOT to use one of these devices. And that’s just the tip of the… orgone-berg.
For the Childrens
On the site you’ll enjoy reading about the children’s book Dorota wrote and illustrated, (click on “Childrens”). Each of the twenty-six paintings is paired with a letter from the alphabet and then three nouns starting with that letter, usually animals.
Note the chapter on M [Mermaid, Moon, Mirror].
a familiar face, an unfamiliar tail
Take a closer look. You’ll notice the mermaid has incomprehensible beauty, knowing mysterious eyes, full red lips, and stunningly yellow hair . She’s posing gracefully under the soft caress of the Moon while examining herself in a mirror. Remind you of anyone? Wink Wink.
My particular favorite is the chapter on Z [Zebra, Zig Zag, Zebra Crossing].
zebra crossings can only be used by zebras
Any kid whose parents love him or her enough to put this in the home library will have a distinct advantage in life, knowing such words as “zebra” and “zebra crossing.” As far as children’s books go, this is by far one of the most educational I’ve read since childhood.
There’s a sincerity to Dorota’s work that is completely charming. She’s living proof that beauty and dignity are not mutually exclusive. She faced challenges in her life but she stood up to them, and conquered them, perhaps with the help of one of her trusty orgone generators, but also certainly because of a tremendous work ethic, sense of perseverance and immense talent. Also a good dose of just not giving a fuck.
Some things should never be deleted. The video and the website exist in only pixel form, a tenuous purchase on reality. With so much of our world’s creative output, accidental or not, existing in ones and zeros and viewed solely on magic light boxes it’s apparent that there are challenges to the demands of posterity. We are entering an era in which expression is instantly available, worldwide, yet can be erased with the strike of a key and the clearing of a cache. These are artifacts every bit as valuable as a clay pot or a brain urn. Except unlike talismans of the past, these can’t be picked up, can’t be held, but they’re tangible in our hearts and they deserve to be graced by the eyes and minds of generations to come. It’s yet another hat, perhaps unwittingly, that Dorota can be proud to wear: Digital preservationist.
all images ©Copyright dr.inz. Atonu Pal & Dorota Lopatynska de Slepowron
*I just couldn’t resist. Please forgive me.
